Communicate to Lead

130. Why You're Praised But Not Promoted: The Truth About Recognition vs. Reward for Women Leaders

• Kele Belton

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You're praised in every performance review. Your manager can't stop saying how "invaluable" you are. But somehow, the promotion never comes. The raise never materializes. And you're left wondering if you're ungrateful for feeling frustrated by all that "appreciation."

Here's what nobody's telling you: Gratitude is being weaponized to keep you stuck. This episode exposes exactly how it happens—and gives you the framework to stop it.

What This Episode Is About

In this episode, we tackle the single most frustrating paradox for women in leadership: being praised but not promoted.

You're "invaluable" but not invaluable enough for a new title. You're "appreciated" but not appreciated enough to be paid what you're worth. This is the Recognition-Reward Gap, and it's a systemic pattern that keeps talented women stuck.

We'll explore why women receive subjective praise ("great team player!") while men get objective, results-focused feedback that leads to promotions. This isn't just a bad performance review; it's a form of "gratitude fatigue"—the exhaustion that comes from being thanked instead of being advanced. We'll break down the real costs of accepting "thank you" as currency and give you the framework to stop it.

Resources Mentioned

  • [COACHING PROGRAM] The Ignite Your Leadership Power Accelerator: Ready to turn this pattern around? My 12-week small group coaching program starts November 20th. Book a call to learn more: https://calendly.com/kele-thetailoredapproach/leadership-strategy-call
  • [1:1 CALL] Book a Leadership Clarity Call: Get a complimentary diagnostic session to assess your specific situation and build a plan. Schedule your call with Kele: https://calendly.com/kele-thetailoredapproach/leadership-strategy-call.

What You'll Learn

By the end of this 30-minute episode, you'll walk away with:

  • The Recognition-Reward Realignment Framework – A four-part system to document patterns, reframe conversations, set boundaries, and create your own success metrics
  • Exact Scripts – Word-for-word language to use when someone praises your work, including how to redirect that recognition toward career advancement and how to handle the inevitable deflection
  • The Real Costs – Understanding the financial, opportunity, credibility, and energy costs of accepting recognition as compensation (spoiler: it's hundreds of thousands of dollars over a career)
  • The Emotional Labor Tax – Why being "grateful and gracious" while underpaid actually gets you praised for accepting less—and how to break that cycle
  • Pattern Recognition – How to identify if you're experiencing recognition without resources, appreciation without advancement, or gratitude without governance
  • Action Steps – Specific, implementable actions you can take this week to start closing your recognition-reward gap

Who This Episode Is For

  • Women in leadership positions feeling undervalued despite consistent praise
  • Aspiring leaders who keep hearing they're "not quite ready" while already doing next-level work
  • Professional women managing impossible workloads with recognition but no resources
  • Leaders who want to ensure they're backing appreciation with actual investment in their team

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